When will my cheese move???

Stagnancy...one of the most feared words in the dictionary of the free spirited! Things lapsing into a routine, while desirable to many, is a horror to those who seek adventure everyday. Of course I am not talking about Captain Jack Sparrow!!! I am talking about the little Jack Sparrows inside us...the one that is unpredictable some mornings, the one that yearns for uncertainty and chaos for some part of the day, the one that knows that life is truly lived in such small daily adventures.

But what do you do when day after day you get stuck in a routine and find yourself becoming slave of habits? What when you want so much to change and you are glaringly aware of the fact that it will be a while before your "cheese" will be moved. The reference here is to a very popular book (Dunno why!) that compares our lives as complex individuals with mouse like creatures who find it crushing when their cheese is moved (changes happen around them). While one of them moves on and find "new cheese"(new meaning of life); the pathetic one stays back and merely lament and plummet into depression!

Here however, the intention is not to lament over the "moved cheese" but to seek its happening! True, its fun being comfortable with life...True, its always reassuring to get that feeling in morning "I AM IN CONTROL"...True, its awesome to laze around...

Alas, the heart yearns for something more, always!!!

For sooner or later, 'Comfort' turns to 'monotony'...

"I AM IN CONTROL" turns to "AM I A CONTROL FREAK?"

and 'lazing around' turns to 'utter boredom'!

So, one wishes for 'change'...covets transition... anticipates the adrenaline rush of many 'firsts' to come... urges the time to fly by...

Its not the inability to move on and find new cheese (MIND IT!!!)...its the obligation to live with the old cheese until it is moved...and meanwhile cherishing the sweet hope of welcoming the adventure that life will present soon...

And the sun followed...

In a race against time, one hardly gets the time to look out for one's back. The preoccupation with what is to come is too overpowering to give way to contemplation about what went by. For what is past is history and what is to come is the real mystery; and we all like "mysteries", don't we?! Not that this one here is an exclamation about some backstabbing Brutus, who didn't quite enjoy becoming history. Its about retrospecting itself,how things seem all funny and relatively easy once they are past... Its about not having the luxury to be nostalgic at times... Its about forgetting all those rungs of ladder that have been conquered... Its about 'moving on' the fast-track... Its about the undeniable anticipation of future defeating the sweet romance one does with one's memories in one's "tanhai"...

Just like while rushing on a road that promises a view of the rising sun at its destination,one hardly considers enjoying the pink beauty of the new born dawn creeping from behind; in these years of being full of excitement about future, one hardly has time for wisdom based on experience!!! Now it may come out as way too altruistic if I preach the importance of experience; for I myself am nothing else but a consumer. I love to consume what keeps me happy... (its more than choco-chip ice cream, folks!) Its a happy experience itself. Though it is important to keep track of one's past and learn continuously from one's memories; its equally important to keep a keen eye on the morrow...

And it is this hunger for novelty that leads one into unchartered territories. The desire to win it all by hook or by crook comes rarely but when it does, its not the 'magnificently approaching dawn from behind' that matters; its the first glimpse of the sun coming out from the tranquil fathoms of a lake that matters. I guess the shift in notions from beginning till the end only suggests the dilemma that presents itself frequently. Keeping a firm head on one's shoulders is appreciable and only achievable when one learns from the past...but its not until one learns to rise above the clouds and dream, does one has a chance of making the sun itself follow...and not just the dawn...

A Hug is all it takes

Munna Bhai said it long back (Mr. Deeds said it LONGER back)...Jaadu ki jhappi can do wonders for everyone!!!

One can befriend strangers, can bridge distances between angry loved ones, can make a crybaby smile, can bring tears to the eyes of toughest of souls...can even revive people from coma in the most obscure of ways!

But that is not what this piece is about. While on a lighter note, it seems so incredible that a hug can fix-it-all; it is as unimaginable as it is incredible. Imagine walking up to someone, you are having a row with and hugging them all of a sudden. A multitude if reactions can be received...

1) "Freeze-frame"

2) "Get off me"

3) "WOWWWW!!!!"

4) "You smell funny...."(often thought, rarely said)

And it is this fear of hearing all these weird things, that keeps us at arms length from people we care about. Who would want to be perceived as vulnerable in the one act of love that is so pure??? Its as wholesome as it is unnerving...and No, we don't do unnerving!!!

So, what's with all this preaching about hugging?

Its because a hug given at the right moment by the right person can save you from the deepest dungeons of self afflicted agony.

Its because a hug is just the right amount of intimacy one wants when one is utterly sad or when one is too delighted to even put it in words.

Its because sometimes, when you pent up all the world's frustration and hurt inside you and its against your pride to let it show, a hug is all you need to relax and take it easy.

Its because a hug is all it takes to break the walls of deception and be natural once again.

A hug may not be the best of ways to approach strangers, but it sure is the best way to befriend those friends again whom you alienated over long years if neglect.

A hug may not cure the pain, but it gives you that moment of rest and quiet in which you once again start believing in yourself.

So while there is no magic in any "Jaadu ki jhappi"; its the magic of human spirit that is always rekindled with a hug. But what if you don't find anyone to hug??? Then like Barney Stinson giving himself mental hi-fives; raise your arms and wrap yourself in your embrace and tell yourself everyday "its like heaven in your arms"... :D

Addiction!

Don't tell me, its not worth fighting for...

don't tell me, there's nothing I want more...

Yeah well, the song reminds of a really romantic backdrop; but obviously the title sets the context right. In an attempt to fight against addiction for anything, an addict must feel this way. Those of you who may be imagining me with a bong in hand, beware!!!

This isn't about any ordinary addiction of hash, marijuana, coke, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, etc. Its about addiction itself.

People these days brag openly of their indulgences and addictions. Being a "shop-aholic" is the "IN" thing! Being a "TV addict" is even cool in some circles! As much as we try to find euphemistic words for all our shortcomings, we all know how hard it will be to let go of a habit which we so dearly cultivated. Personally, I have always tried to control my own habits. Indulge but never over-do it! I would drink tea, but always in moderation. I would eat chocolates, but tire of them if I had them in abundance. I would break habits continuously if I felt I was getting dependent on them. So I always believed addiction a weakness of character...

And then I was introduced to "FARMVILLE"!!!

It was just the beginning though. After growing wheat and rice and herding up cattle and buying tractor and stuff,I was quite proud of myself. Assuming that all these activities were as easy in real life, I could have run a very successful farm! But as stated previously, despite over indulgence in this case, i tired of it...

(Yes, i know tiring isn't a real strength!!!) But it helps one fights addiction...(another contributing factor was the link getting banned in my college :P)

In any case, I realized after this episode of vulnerability that I can be an addict too!!!!

Oh, many other Facebook-games followed afterwards...my obsession with them peaked and then plummeted! I clanged to them for the sheer joy of "killing" time and then I found better things to do...

This experience however, also made me acknowledge some of the things you become addicted to in life and their subtlety is so sublime that you hardly ever notice your dependence on them or admit their inevitability. For instance a mother's need to know what you had for dinner even if you are a 1000 miles away; a father's concern for your career casually hidden in his interrogations about "how are things?"; a sister's undying love for you even when you hardly find time for her; the sheer wholesomeness of good times you share with your friends every other day...

I admit i am addicted to all these and would never want to let go of them...As much as one craves independence, it is these dependencies that fuels ones initiatives. So while its worth fighting off the other ordinary addictions, it worthwhile hanging on to some.

As for Farmville, MY WILL turned out to be much stronger :D

Kaleidoscope

People my age must remember those almost extinct "mela(s)" now, where we used to go with our parents and nearly choked them to death with the constant harping on about the urgency of buying something from the "gubbare-wala"(Balloon vendor). Oh well, the occasions were many when such urgency surfaced as the balloon vendor had more than balloons in his treasure-chest of a cycle! Those queer goggles, multicolored flutes, magic games and what not...but something that becomes even more intriguing with age (unlike all the other stuff we enjoy as kids) is a kaleidoscope.

Looking into a tube of cardboard, a kid never expects to see all those colors forming magical images at the other end and as much as it mesmerizes a kid for its sheer creativity and stroke of genius, it still remains a toy for her. Every few years when you revisit the kaleidoscope, it excites your senses, relaxes them at times, ignite deeper meanings in your mind about life, people, events and yourself! Somewhere down the road of life, it stops being a toy and becomes a totem that leads to self discovery. For its physical presence is not necessary, like a wise metaphor it keeps you sane and amuses you in the face of deepest of miseries.

A recent turn of events reminded me of it and so the writing bug caught up with me once more. How different elements of life amalgamate into one event and how people of different backgrounds, with different needs, different priorities in life, different values; all come together to fight for their rights. As a critic of diary entries, I have never really appreciated documenting real events. What I do appreciate about writing is referring to events in subtle ways and driving home the point. Thus while the event is inconsequential for the readers, its message may be resonant with them in many walks of life (to everyone, their own!).

Pretty early on in life, it becomes clear to most of us that "ye duniya bdi sangdil hai" (:P). Even for optimists, cynicism about certain facts of life becomes and integral component of thinking. But at times this "duniya" really surprises you. You see unity after repeated exhibition of diversity... You see the dawn of a common interest after the night of hidden agendas... You realize what is important and what is not, all at once! That is precisely when I am reminded of a Kaleidoscope; those little pieces of different shapes and colors(people), lying in different corners of an orthogon(diverse cultures, needs, interests, values), coming together in different patterns on every rotation(the ups-and-downs of life) to make beautiful images and patterns(sense out of the insanity of this world).

Of course it occurs to me from time to time, that man is a social animal...he is expected to flock together and act as a mob. But seeing it in a good light is refreshing at hell really!!! Especially when you are part of the mob (obviously an intelligent mob), you feel its heart, its pulse and how it is fueled by not just biscuits, chips and pav-bhaji but by the sheer strength of emotion and an unsaid (or may be overstated at times) understanding. Victory in the end or compromise...matters for some and doesn't affect others...what stays with all of us is the pattern that life's kaleidoscope presented this time, and how we all fit into it so seamlessly...enhancing each other's beauty(inner...DUH!!!) and value! :)

Mind over Matter

At times one wonders what's real and what isn't? We think something and life takes a whole new direction! We do all thats good for this world and we get zilch in return! We be everyone's friend and everyone seems hell bent on making an enemy out of us! We blame the destiny for things, this "duniya" seems mean a lot of times. Oh the cruelties one faces, while going through the passage of life!!!

Of late, I have been part of many a conversations in which I found myself negating the concept of externality of events. So obviously, this piece is not going to be any different! What if co-incidence is just a series of pre-meditated incidents arranged by some random mix of people? What if the probability of winning or losing is directly related to the intellect(or lack of it) of the parties involved? What if doing good to the people who reallllllllyyyy need it is more prudent than doing good for the world (that way there is higher probability of getting zero+ returns from good-doing)?

After all "mind over matter" is not just some far fetched idea best suited for movies and literature alone. Its a concept that many have acknowledged and adapted to for their benefits and that of others. I like to believe that whatever we get in our lives is fruit of our own strengths and weaknesses. This thought itself pumps me with such confidence and enthusiasm about life!!! Whatever I do, I get this feeling that I will be responsible for whatever good will come out of it (and if it doesn't work out,I will know what NOT to do!)

But the convenience of passing on the baton of negativity to an external force seems such an easy solution, that many of us like to keep things the naive way! Of course I remember the days when cycling my way to school I used to "pray"(!!!!) for a good grade in some test I took. And obviously I am not that old that I can' remember the times I first blamed God, destiny and more recently genes for my obesity! Blaming everything bad on forces beyond you is easy and as much I would like to condemn it, I do see the other side of it as well.

The victory of mind over everything material is not just manifested in one's ability to face all odds based on one's sole will power. Its also there in the survival instinct of every human being that is hardwired so deep in the psyche! We blame the world for our misfortunes because blaming ones own self for everything can really be crushing at times...internalizing pure glory and pride can be fuel to one's narcissistic fire but internalizing all responsibility can really kill one's buzz!!!

Therefore fascinatingly, the theory of karma (as influential as it may be), seems to be wanting in many areas. By the end of every entry I make, I end up contradicting my own beliefs. Unhealthy as it may be for a self assured and self believing individual like me on an emotional level, I am sure this exploration by expression is healthy is some obscure way.

For what is more productive than building a sound "mind" that can conquer all that "matters"?! :)

Of all the hotties in the world,he had 2 go after Sita!

Ever wondered what must have come over 'Dashanan' to go after Sita in the first place?!

I mean,i do understand the "revenge" perspective to start with...but how did he get so carried away that he started wooing her?!(that too in captivity...DUH!!!)

We all know he was a semi-brahmin (his mother was a demon). And we all know that he was super-intelligent. In his childhood, he could put Vibhishana (the full-brahmin half brother to shame,with his cunning). Brother Kumbhkaran was never any match anyway. We also know that he had 10 heads, so you can imagine the IQ(lets make it 180*10)!!!

Unless he was susceptible to 10 times as much confusion too, one can easily assume Ravan to be a pretty rad guy with psychic n telekinetic powers (what,with all the additional brain strength!)

So why did he take such a foolish step? Why did he ruin his marriage? Why did he go after a married woman? Why did he become so stubborn that he even fought till death for a lady who was not ready to accept even his courtship? Why did he sacrifice his whole kin for this madness?

People have wondered a lot, i know. A convenient take on this is "when the end is near,people stop thinking right". But i don't agree. Of the 10 heads he had, at least 1 must have been thinking right!!! That little voice in that one head must have been shouting - "come on dude, she wont go for you...and have you considered the havoc this Hanuman guy can create,if Ram asks him for it??? I mean,he's the avtaar of your deity!!!"

Hence it can be presumed that Ravan's head(s) must have had some other forces at play when he made such rash decisions.

(Male) EGO for instance pops up into mind! I mean,who goes for abducting and loses his heart in the process too? Its a known fact that Ravan had a beautiful wife (even though she was a demoness as well) and all these years he had been dedicated to her. But when Sita rejected him, it turned into an ego-issue. Think about a king who can have it all and now the girl he wants doesn't want him. Imagine the dent in the EGO!!

MIDLIFE CRISIS is another factor. After all, Ravan had an adult son, so that must mean he himself was at least 40! With the monotony of ruling over Lanka and getting entertained and tended to by demons day in and out, one can easily start craving for some adventure!

Oh and how can i forget, an OLD FLAME can be at play here as well. Ravan attempted to tie the Parshuram's dhanush on Sita's swayamwar as well (ofcourse he failed)! Now if the opportunity will present itself, why wouldn't one want to get back with the old crush and have some fun?

Lastly, I can concede, Sita must have been a real beauty... This argument doesn't even need any explaining.

So now that we have some idea about what made him go after her its worth contemplating that is it fair to burn him year after year? Bechara... "Budhi bhrasht" or not, we "bhrasht" him every year for doing something he hardly had any control over!