Green Grass Blue Sky

The normal, natural course of things is always favored by humans when it comes to the world around. But when the same favor is requested by a human being, it is more often than not, denied!

Oh, it isn't yet another forlorn piece that keeps marveling at the inadequacies of being human. It is a piece that accepts that nature is normally dominant but human will suppresses it so, that every instance new nature keeps emerging...and a new norm is attained.

One may wonder however, what does the greenness of grass and blueness of sky has to do with it? It is with absolute clarity that I can connect these four words with the Vodafone (Hutch) jingle! And I am equally certain that all of us can...What we don't bother to pay attention to is the utter lack of naturality in the advertisement. Given there were grasslands and mountains and ponds and clouds and everything else that nature provides us to feast our eyes upon... but there was a cute, little Pug too in it. It is the most un-natural thing I am referring to! It follows the kid around (ok yeah, dogs do that!)...it brings the kid whatever it wants...without even being instructed to do so ( yeah that happens to, but come on! Was the Pug psychic?!)...it slept on its back, imitating the kid (can you buy that?)... its even out in the damp, rainy time to be 'wherever you are' (I had a dog, he hated damp. You can't fool me!)...

Now the contention is not to deliberate over an excellent advertisement, but to observe how human will, over-rid nature and produced a masterpiece out of it! I believe that it can't be so difficult, therefore, to alter a nature that is inherent to a being.

Its not only philosophy, obviously not! Its a belief deeply rooted in the fact that people do lose weight!

Not the "biggest loser" type only...but 5lbs, 10lbs here and there...people do it all the time! Now why does the need arise in the first place? Because its in the nature of those indulgent people to seek happiness in food. And believe me, its not a disease always! Its not an emotional inadequacy either...its simply nature!

I can't help it if I was born underweight and decided as an infant to make up for it all my life...i DON'T want to help it if my idea of a good time is having chocolates and ice creams to gorge down! ITS MY NATURE!!!

But then its also my will that I won't be beat down by my own nature... I don't want the torment of browsing a fashion magazine all my life! I want the satisfaction of being as hot as the pages that my fingers flip through! But in this clash between WILL and NATURE, I want both to reach a compromise... The passion for food must not be replaced by anorexia and bulimia for the will to win and the nature must not prevail by making a BMI of 27 seem unavoidable!

After all...if a Pug can do it, I sure can :D

Undependable Independance

Freedom is bitter, freedom is sweet.

It feels like raindrops and it feels like heat.

It breezes away the worries of the heart that beats.

Freedom you are mine...

without you I am not human, I am meat!

The sentiment is well understood by all (black, brown and white; alike). Its so well understood that it morphs into any meaning one wants it to have. For we are free to interpret freedom in our own way. In the smallest things we do in life, we want to be free to make the choice. How we live life should be our business not anyone else's. How we cling to the past and how we plan for the future, how we love and how we hate, who we love and who we hate...we must have freedom for all that!

It happens or it doesn't is another story altogether. Most of us don't even want freedom to that level that it is acutely felt... most of us are happy with the notion of freedom at the national level, community level and cultural level... for an individual, freedom doesn't seem to account much. We all have acclimatized to the notion that "man is a social animal" and so independence is not real, its just a matrix pulled over our eyes until the social human nature obligates us to behave in a way that defies freedom.

So you are free to be you until the world wants otherwise. Of course independence is cherished and a quality admired by many. But not without a dash of disdain...

If you are independent, people will hail you for your individuality...but a green monster in them would always want to see you crumble and seek dependence.

If you believe in free thinking and free living, people will appreciate your guts and glorify your nerve...but a conformist in them would want to see you fail and fall back on common knowledge and living with the world.

If you are free enough to wear you heart up your sleeve and put yourself out there, people will pump you up and pour over suggestions...but a cynic in them would always want to tell you one day "there is no such thing as true love".

So as dear as freedom is to all of us and as dearly as we covet independence, its the sublime greyness of human nature that makes it surreal. You can depend on it for as long as you are prepared to be "out-standing", an aberration, an anomaly, an outlier...The moment you decide to be free and yet belong somewhere, you are lost! Individual freedom of thought and action is never conforming to anything that the society thinks is a way of life. Independence is encouraged but actually not expected of anyone...

Everyone must have a role model..or a mentor...or a pillar of strength...

Why that is necessary, nobody waits to brood over it! Eventually, people who keep striving for a free existence (in every sense) are left deliberating the life they made on their own. Their mistakes and their successes are their own but there is always a nagging doubt... was the independence really worth its while?!... Life would have been so much easier had I not been so free...

Tap-some-Bong

Dream -

He had the superpowers he always wished for...he could fly (no kryptonian side-effects), he was super strong (no boy-scout behavior and savior's syndrome), he didn't have to breathe (so water and space were pretty much accessible), he had special sixth sense...he was telekinetic and could shape-shift!

In short, he was THE-Superhero!!!

Reality -

He was just an above-average Joe. He went to school and then college like all other kids of his generation. When he was about to turn 11, he desperately waited for the letter from Hogwarts to arrive...Ofcourse it never did! Then he grew out of it.

When he was 16, on a class field trip to a nuclear reactor plant, he dearly hoped for some freak accident to happen to him...it never did, either...so he grew out of it too!

Dream -

Life had been cruel to him... His parents never appreciated his special abilities. They thought of him as something of a freak-show! He had no friends and whoever he crushed on, always liked someone else... He dreamed of a normal life but was subconsciously reliant on his powers too much to get by with life.

Reality -

His life was normal. So normal that he was eternally bored! He has parents who were always over indulgent in his life and over protective of him. He had very many friends and girls usually found him cute. He dreamed of a superhuman life...a life that was not governed by laws of nature!

Dream -

He fought the anti-social elements without any sense of obligation to a past or a person. He liked being a superhero...somewhat like Metro-man! He had no weaknesses so villains could hardly ever exhort him. And he never wanted a change of scene...he was satisfied being him.

Reality -

Ah life! He wished for it to change somehow...everything was so predictable! He hated being an above-average Joe...he hated being a pushover and he really wished that someday, somehow he will be able to deny his parents whatever they emotionally-blackmailed him into doing, against his wishes!

The Merger -

He waited and waited and finally he decided to take his life in his own hands! Now by day he was his normal boring self and by night, he went by the name of "Tap-some-Bong"...the night crusader, the friendly neighborhood superhero, the alien boy scout...nobody was any match for him. For he was not goodness embodied, he was goodness itself!

He became everything he wanted to be...

He fought aliens, monsters, zombies and mafia clans!

He dressed in spandex outfits that hid his true identity and made him feel cool!

He finally had real friends who were always there for him!

He knew who crushed on him and who missed him the most and who was his fan!

He could share whatever was on his mind and the world paid heed to it!

He developed his own isolated perfect life!

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All thanx to facebook! :D

Redundancy...thou art dear!

Its a given that an artist's inside is reflected on her outside endeavors. I am just the one who believes in keeping subtlety absent,when the obvious is glaring one in the face! Presently, many of my talents are feeling redundant, which in turn is making me feel similarly... NO COMPLAINS though!

What is unnerving is that in the very heat of my 20s, I am not supposed to be so satisfied with being idle. Sure, like many direction-less aspirants of my generation (the no. is fast dwindling!) I can be floundering around in life, doing not even a single thing that I truly want to...but being redundant is something our "Gen-Y" isn't very good at! We have to feel useful. We have to know that our life means something (see, we don't really believe in self discovery at the age of 30!). We have to know we had some dreams and we either lived them or we didn't. There is hardly ever any scope left for "may be(s)" or "someday"...

We want it, we take it(or get ambushed,trying).

And thus my wonder at the fact that I am so at ease with my (short-lived) redundancy. In fact I am quite liking it! Life has absolutely "No Demands" from me for almost a quarter of a year :D!!! Now at the beginning of this long coveted break, I could only imagine the stupendous amount of days I would have to be happily useless... then the time actually begins. Many of the concessions and liberties of being useful have to be given up...but What-the-Hey!, once you taste the utter lack of obligations after going through a (supposedly) highly demanding, professional course; its PURE BLISS!!!

It is understandable that a percentage of that feeling is coming from the fact that once life is going to restart, everything will be in its place (Yeah right, I made it happen!)...the sense of future security can put anyone at ease. But a major portion of this feeling of ecstasy over being redundant is coming from an accumulated need for a break, over the years...

Living in a famous-for-its-population (and mildly competitive) nation, one learns pretty early on that education and career building isn't going to be easy (especially when you are a Jack-Of-All-Trades-Master-Of-None sort of person). So of-course, adolescence is fueled by quotes like -

"beta ye do saal +1,+2 mein mehnat kr lo; fir araam hai"

"bete CAT crack kr lo, fir MBA toh apne aap hojani hai"

"Friends, I(a wannabe cool Prof at a B-school) assure you, with two years of smart work in your MBA, you will reap benefits throughout your life"*

*Conditions in corporate world are nothing like college, dude! I am just messing with you!

So one trudges on in life, putting in a little more of self in the process of becoming someone else. We lose time to chill and be ourselves...we harbor that grudge against ourselves for being all that useful, all our young lives! So when finally, the chance to be "FREEEEEEE" presents itself...it certainly is dear.

CHEERS!!! :P

Hasta la vista

Yes its weird that I always title the blog with some exotic word and what turns up inside is some "Desi" version of my world! It may be the same here, but the feeling isn't desi only...its very much exotic and commonplace at the same time...its very much everywhere...ubiquitous...yet there's nothing divine about it!

Now in any other language, its just plain...no spunk. I can give it a try really...

Phir milenge! (Mushyyyyy!!!)

Adieu! (Mushier!!!)

Dasvidaniya! (More like a tongue twister!!!)

May be my 'language of obsession' these days is dictating my affinity towards the title, but seriously...there is no better way to say it. Literally, "Hasta la vista" means 'until we see again' and its very commonly used as a farewell greeting. The style quotient obviously appeals to me as I feel it represents me.

Weirdly it seems like only yesterday that i said "Hola" to all my new friends...its equally weird that this brevity of time wasn't really felt so acutely while I was living two years of it!!!

But even with the style quo and all, a farewell remains a farewell...the hope of meeting again and the promises of 'staying in touch' are always soothing but they don't veil the transformation that life is about to go through. Dormant under our uber-cool exteriors, is a bubbling feeling of unease about "change"! So what if we all have seen one farewell too many...each one of them rocks us a little.

After all its not easy making friends (what with all the social networking to do)...its not easy to be all set for life's new challenges always ( truest grit is in accepting one's fear and imperfections)... its not easy truly enduring a phase of your life,gritting your teeth, but still wanting it not to end! My friends and I experienced it (with great gusto, if I might add). We cursed the day that put us in the situations we were in, but secretly we were gracious for the chance to get to know some of the most intriguing people ever.

With midnight pasta parties...Punjabi pop-DJ-on laptop-nights...nail paint fest with gal friends... series of knocks on the door when time is short for getting ready for a party... those series of Cntrl C - Cntrl V - Cntrl S, a week before exams...those trips to BIG BAZAAR for everything required for survival...those shopping bags of 1 capsicum,1 onion,1 tomato and 1 chilly (the chilly unceremoniously thrown in the dustbin,along with the polythene)...

Saying Hasta la vista not only brings back those memories but gives you the hope to build some new memories the next time around...It prepares you for the change and preserves what is unchanging about life, inside you...the bonds of friendship :D

Le Magnifique

In a small town quite nearby, lived a little girl. She was as small as the town but dreamed of becoming big and great one day and living in a place worthy of her grandeur. Wanting in many a factors that comprise the secret formula of success, she was unaware of the challenges life were to present. But to lose hope is not her!

Lets call her Maya (shall we?). Now as Maya grew, she became more and more sure of the things she wanted out of life - name, fame, money and love. In short she wanted it all and she wanted everything at her own terms.

Maya was a happy child...a talented one at that...a child who thought crying a waste of time...quite content with her own world of school and pals.

Maya wasn't the popular one, but never was the underdog either! Teachers liked Maya, but she never was the one who could become a teacher's pet!

Maya had few good friends and many ok-ok friends.

Maya thought boys were worthless and girls rock!

Many things about Maya changed with time but these stayed with her...they became permanent part of her nature, beliefs and character.

With time, Maya grew to be a decisive and confident person...fixed many of her character flaws (many still remained)...learnt about herself...her weaknesses she hid, her strengths she polished! Now a strapping young lass of 20, Maya decided to try her luck with guys too (after all how bad can be a sub-specie if it could boast of Johnny Depp as its member?!?!) So with a long long long list of qualities set in her mind, she wore her heart up her sleeve for the first time. But the thing with Maya is that even her sleeve is like her! So the heart never really got the chance of slipping out and falling for the first Prince Charming who walked by. The heart also never got a chance of measuring up every candidate for the quality control list that Maya had so naively prepared. Maya's sleeve did all the required calculation of a matchmaker and Maya landed a striking young lad ( a PERFECT match, if something of the sorts exists!)

So Maya now had one of the things she wanted in life...Love! For a while it felt like everything else was immaterial and Love is all that matters. But this is Maya we are talking about...She can not escape her name after all! So Maya decided to once again strive for having it all. Being Maya, is all about loving moh (Love) and maya (money), so predictably, the next goal in Maya's life became wealth. Now money is not an easy thing to come by if you are only good at things that don't really pay well in real world! Hence, Maya decided to go for "MBA"!!!! (dramatic music for effect)

This is where the story ends my friends...for this is where it gets too tragic to be told! (I don't want to call this piece Les Miserables instead of Le Magnifique!!!)

Obssessive about Possessing

"Possession"...I stumbled across this word by chance when I read about "Firebolt" being one of Harry Potter's most prized possessions in the Goblet of Fire. Back then my vocabulary wasn't even sound enough to understand what "vocabulary" meant! So obviously I would read my favorite book series with a dictionary by my side... Even so, the dictionary's description never revealed the true application of this word. With time however, it became evident that people rarely use it as a noun...its verb and adjective forms are so much more popular...and that too not with objects but regarding subjects!

Developing philosophies about life come at a very late stage, but what every person learns in the first 20 years of life is that you can't change anyone's nature. The less you hope to do that with someone, the less naive you stay and the more at peace are your relations with everyone who matters. So its pretty much around the first time you move out of "home sweet home", that you realize that 'nature' is what governs even one's artificiality!!! And the urge to possess stems from this basic human nature.

This urge soon matures into an obsession for many, when situations presents some forlorn subject of interest! Some people fight against it but most people find it intriguing...the exhibition of jealousy...possessiveness...the need to control... Its seen in mothers, fathers, siblings and friends. We all know how it feels to be on the receiving end of a possessive behavior and we all know how mildly amusing or thoroughly irritating it could be! But what we never marvel upon is that what encourages such behavior?!?

It can't just be the simple need to own...it can't only be the insecurities or lack of trust...it can't just be 'nature'! If everyone exhibits it, then there has to be a reasonable explanation for it...more potent and more satisfying than just 'nature'!

How come people try to possess other people and their emotions? How come it is forgotten that possessing is to do with inanimate objects and not with people,throbbing with life and energy? Personally I am a materialistic individual...possessions mean all the worldly treasures to me, no matter how grand or how inexpensive. But I have always considered human spirit to be boundless...one can't dream to possess it...one can only dream to know it in all its imperfections and one can only hope to achieve exclusivity with some of the pleasures a dedicated spirit can bestow upon one...

What I don't understand is how and why, people still dare to hope that they can possess another's mind and heart and actions and affections! Any feeble attempt to understand this obsession with possessing usually fizzles out even before it can illuminate the nook and cranny of human psyche in which the answer may be hidden...

Still brooding over it does explain one thing...one craves to possess what one desires! It may not be the tendency to control and own but the primal need to be owned and to belong to someone that makes people possessive...that makes people want to have someone feeling possessive for them!