Of all the hotties in the world,he had 2 go after Sita!

Ever wondered what must have come over 'Dashanan' to go after Sita in the first place?!

I mean,i do understand the "revenge" perspective to start with...but how did he get so carried away that he started wooing her?!(that too in captivity...DUH!!!)

We all know he was a semi-brahmin (his mother was a demon). And we all know that he was super-intelligent. In his childhood, he could put Vibhishana (the full-brahmin half brother to shame,with his cunning). Brother Kumbhkaran was never any match anyway. We also know that he had 10 heads, so you can imagine the IQ(lets make it 180*10)!!!

Unless he was susceptible to 10 times as much confusion too, one can easily assume Ravan to be a pretty rad guy with psychic n telekinetic powers (what,with all the additional brain strength!)

So why did he take such a foolish step? Why did he ruin his marriage? Why did he go after a married woman? Why did he become so stubborn that he even fought till death for a lady who was not ready to accept even his courtship? Why did he sacrifice his whole kin for this madness?

People have wondered a lot, i know. A convenient take on this is "when the end is near,people stop thinking right". But i don't agree. Of the 10 heads he had, at least 1 must have been thinking right!!! That little voice in that one head must have been shouting - "come on dude, she wont go for you...and have you considered the havoc this Hanuman guy can create,if Ram asks him for it??? I mean,he's the avtaar of your deity!!!"

Hence it can be presumed that Ravan's head(s) must have had some other forces at play when he made such rash decisions.

(Male) EGO for instance pops up into mind! I mean,who goes for abducting and loses his heart in the process too? Its a known fact that Ravan had a beautiful wife (even though she was a demoness as well) and all these years he had been dedicated to her. But when Sita rejected him, it turned into an ego-issue. Think about a king who can have it all and now the girl he wants doesn't want him. Imagine the dent in the EGO!!

MIDLIFE CRISIS is another factor. After all, Ravan had an adult son, so that must mean he himself was at least 40! With the monotony of ruling over Lanka and getting entertained and tended to by demons day in and out, one can easily start craving for some adventure!

Oh and how can i forget, an OLD FLAME can be at play here as well. Ravan attempted to tie the Parshuram's dhanush on Sita's swayamwar as well (ofcourse he failed)! Now if the opportunity will present itself, why wouldn't one want to get back with the old crush and have some fun?

Lastly, I can concede, Sita must have been a real beauty... This argument doesn't even need any explaining.

So now that we have some idea about what made him go after her its worth contemplating that is it fair to burn him year after year? Bechara... "Budhi bhrasht" or not, we "bhrasht" him every year for doing something he hardly had any control over!

Give & Take

Give and Take...when you start socializing in the very initial years of your life, this concept is beyond you! But as you grow, it gets so ingrained into your psyche that going beyond it becomes impossible for you.

Imagine a Give-Give relationship (Budha in love with Budha!!!) or may be a Take-Take relationship (Narcissus must have attended some couple therapies regarding the troubles he had in a relationship with himself!!!) Therefore I believe it is safe to concede that in all fairness, the equilibrium of any relationship (between two humans or man-beast) is reached and sustained by this very simple concept of Give-&-Take! Now while I prefer considering personal relations over and above social instances, this here is not just some individualistic observation but something that I see thriving in the whole social setup around me.

You go to market (Oh call it a mall if you like!), you buy some stuff, you pay for it (Give-&-Take; DUH!!)

You become the loyal customer of some company, the company provides special services to you (Give-&-Take)

You join a new college and you make new friends, and those who are not friends...what do you call them?! Acquaintance, a.k.a Give-&-Take!!!

You work in a group... I guess there is no Give and Take dynamics here, only a painful experience for most...(may be not the free riders...)

And finally there is the personal front. It is said a mother is the only person who always gives to her child and doesn't expect anything in return. Well, I beg to differ...I mean, we all are aware of the dialog "Dudh ka karz"!!!

When it comes to fathers, they are big givers too, but they take a lot too... sometimes your self esteem, sometimes your power to choose a life partner, sometimes your independence, sometimes all your fears, sometimes all your debts (:P)...sometimes simply your affection...(they are emotional but hate showing it so they take the first two instead of simply asking for the last one!)

With brothers and sisters its pretty much clear usually (they want what you want so its kinda Take-what-she-is-taking-and-give-what-she-is-giving!)

Friends usually don' bother with defining the type of relationship...even though they know its give and take, they also know that "sab pyaar de bhukhe ne"!

And finally that special someone. Now all of us know about "unconditional love" but even laughing it off will mean entertaining the idea at all. So my take on it is of utter neglect! LOVE is there, alright, but its conditional ( and in most cases its Conditioning also!). After all, Chacha Choudhry ka dimaag chahe computer se bhi tez chlta hai and he can outsmart the most calculative of criminals, but even he knows the right time to be home for dinner and Mini!!

In the end, it is out of complete reverence for the whole Give-&-Take concept that I would like to say -it wouldn't have been easy for humans to have proliferated their specie so much if it hadn't been for the simple barter of things(and ideas) and cooperation amongst communities. Why still the idea is maligned with shades of materialism and lack of emotionality, I fail to understand!

Sister est la Soul-Link!

With1.2billion people thriving in a country as great as India, I doubt any of us can fail to relate with the equation one shares with one's sibling(s). For all of us have at some point in time pestered our mommy for a new bro or sis...and then again, many of us have questioned them many years later, that what came over them,that they brought such monsters into this world!!!

But this relation is much more complex than it appears. Personally, i have only one experience here which i can scrutinize from various angles (having a sister). Now the bond two sisters share; has shades of love, hate, jealousy, comradeship, support, judgement, preaching, guiding, mentoring, agreeing and disagreeing and agreeing to disagree...And all these shades are bound to make such a relation a most cherished possession on occasions...(and a pain in the neck, on others!) I am quite sure that a sis-bro n bro-bro relation must be steeped in its own intricacies and experiential learnings, but what two sisters share, at times transcend the boundaries of blood ties and enter the realm of being soul-mates of each other.

As Samantha reminds all the friends in SNTC-2 that they are soul-mates and they don't ditch each other for anyone else; same way, sisters are always there for each other! Fashions come and go, sisters share every dress and stiletto they have... career opportunities come and go, sisters share all the aspirations and face all the difficulties together... guys come and go, sisters share every feeling they have...

But come on, a sister isn't really an angel personified!

She can be your worst competition... the source of your worries... the reason why you are always "the bad gal" at home! In short, you can't live with or without them...

While the more contemporary writers fail to stress on the importance of this relation, the classic works from the pens of Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice) and Margret Mitchel (Gone with the wind); throw light on some distinct shades of this relation.

Two people, same blood, different thinkings, similar upbringings, and end result... a sweet relationship; sometimes sweeter than friendship; sometimes more reliable than a diary entry and sometimes sturdier and more giving than true love. Sisters show each other what they are in their hearts, expose the true self of the other...bringing out the best in the other (much like Nescafe) and in doing so, become a sole-link-to-the-soul! For who better to acquaint you with yourself than the one you share your DNA with!!!

They prepare you for the world and when you come back home all beaten up, they cheer you up (with weird "mujhra" on any song playing on the radio) and send you out again with newfound confidence and hope! They proclaim their love for you all of a sudden when you are raving about some new found friend and they are ready with an "i told you so" whenever you are crushed with the cruelties of this world!

Still..."Phoolo ka taaron ka, sb ka kehna hai....ek hzaaro mein....la la la la la....:P

....saari...umar...hume sung rehna hai....":D

CHOCOLATE TWILIGHT!!!

In the depths of a relationship lies the most amazing times past and at the zeniths of its hopes lies the potential of a future so astounding that it could transform the individuals involved. May be that is why we, as a generation, are so fearful of commitment! As if the profoundness of feeling wasn't enough to scare people away from the prospects of a dual existence, there is the scope of feeling "half" instead of "whole" more often than one would like, that keeps one in the shoes of a single-no-so-ready-to-mingle for a long long time.

But once all those barriers are crossed and the heart has finally taken the plunge into the hopeless fathoms of love, those rosy chocolate twilights turn vanilla pretty soon! As the lines of a popular song portray the ache of a forlorn heart, missing the sweetheart not along; my mind fantasizes about the contrasting feelings...

How it must feel to be with that special someone and not have a single worry in the world, how the cold nights must feel warm in someone's embrace, how someone's presence must give you courage to be yourself yet still be better, how someone can make you forget all your sorrows and inject you with optimism (the like of which only "John" can have when it comes to getting "Garfield" to work out!!!)...

Those twilights must be chocolaty, that setting sun must be the color of roses and carnations, those peeping stars must stir up some romance and ignite intense feelings towards one single being! However, all this can't be long lived. As much as I like to believe that after Shrek4, Fiona and Shrek finally had their "Happily Ever After"; its simply irrational to imagine that their relation was always tinged with the aphrodisiac tastes of chocolate!

But then again isn't the realization of distance a sign of intimate nostalgia? Even when the chocolate flavor is gone from the relationship and what is left behind is the blandness of vanilla, aren't there some chocolate chips still remaining behind? Just like life isn't in 'Black or White'; same way love can't be 'Chocolate or Vanilla'...it has to be choco-vanilla!

Those musical twilights have to be full of ambers of the sparks that once flew,making them Chocolate once again...

Alone or Lonely?

It may all sound the same to a tortured soul trapped between the chasms of boredom and solitude...but loneliness isn't the same as being alone. While the first is imposed upon you by situations, you get to choose the other. While a lonely person is prone to desperation, a mind that chooses to be alone is in for an intellectual treat at times, for a conversation with self can be more intriguing than dialogs held with geniuses!

But isn't solitude a euphemism chosen by those who can't really take the pressures of being social? And isn't gregariousness a desperate effort on part of those who can't take the chance of being left alone with themselves?

As much as the ambiguity enthralls me, not reaching a final stance on how my opinion should be about the topic is not really what I appreciate in myself! So dropping the cynicism and choosing a rosy view of it all would be the way to go...

NO! Solitude is no euphemism...only a mind sure enough to sustain facing itself can choose to stay alone rather than in company of many distractions. For what an empty mind is capable of is too obvious to all of us who have been bored at some point in time. Its not about how one feels about things, its about how one IS! My choice of being alone can be dictated by my need to be with myself, have some "Me time" and pamper myself with all my narcissism. But for some, it could be because the going gets too tough and halting and recuperating in the rat race becomes an essential survival technique!

And NO! Gregariousness never has any tones of desperation in it! For it requires so much positive energy that anything petty has to get dissolved in the process. Approaching another person, establishing a rapport and then multiplying what you just did with one to a million. This is nothing but pure art! And it emerges out of sheer will to know the world, to indulge one's curiosity and to use every skill one may possess to win over someone. Even if its an attempt to escape solitude, what is the harm in that? After all, we all can't be Rhett Butlers, with our amused opinions of the world, who can relish the intensity of thoughts that being alone with self brings. Some of us are poor Scarlett O'Hara as well, who valiantly fight against one's own selfish nature to put up a show of gregariousness, to get others to like her.

Now in what light one sees being "lonely or alone", is purely dependent on one's own perspective about being strong or being weak!

Much ado about nothing...

A myriad of thoughts cross the mind whenever the writing bug bites. But what to choose and what to leave... As has been brought to my attention, the previous posts all started with some link to childhood. So i decided to start this one with a tribute to old age...

Just like anyone else, I have always loved my birthdays and just like everyone else, I have always detested growing old! But how old is actually old?

Is it the "NUMBER"? (those hateful candles on the cake...)

Is it the "LINES"? (even though laughter gives them...)

Or is it simply the core of your heart...

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to come across a concept of 'having an old heart inside a young body' through an exceptional movie. Though the movie circled around much more complex notions, this was something that appealed to me!

How would it feel to be a 20 something and feel like a 70 something inside? As scary as it may sound, I am sure it has its privileges.

For starters, you will have something as elusive as "experience" at your service!!! How i would love to tell people "believe me, i have 'been there, done that'..." Nobody takes a 20 something seriously. Why? Because we are optimistic!

But hey! Age can drive that out of you. With a 70 something heart, one could be at least realistic, if not cynical about the world. What a charmer would that make you!

Now as novel as the concept may sound, we all have met our fair share of precocious people. Even though the gap between their age and their intellect is not as gaping as a chasm of 50 years, it is usually impressive enough to disarm most people! I would love to assume that it was some dream in a dream in a dream, that showed them the world with older eyes and filled them with such wisdom. But that is simply me being naive!!!

These precocious beings are certainly superior as far as intellect go. Possibly a bigger fraction of their brain works while we struggle with a mere 5%. Or better yet, they just use their 5% more constructively and understand the world at the age of 10, while it takes most adults, decades to decode the riddle.

With so many 'perks' attached to being old, why do we worship 'youth'?! Because 'youth' reserves something that 'age' can not cherish. (saying INNOCENCE would be a huge folly!!!) Its "Being Young" itself...

Defying the numbers, denying the lines and forgetting all the proprieties that are supposed to come with age; feeling young is what keeps us all going! At 12, I am eager to turn 13 (teens rock!). But at 19, 20 starts sounding dreadful! But what if 20 is the new young?

At 21, I feel liberated, however at 25 the clock starts ticking! But what if the clock is made to go in circles without ever giving the time?

What if there is no what if and all that matter is living the life to its fullest and enjoying everything without thinking if it suits my age or not!

Reading comic books, watching cartoon movies, tying 3 ponytails, dressing up to look "cute" and not "hot", engaging in gossip about crushes and not discussion of true love, discussing new dresses for you virtual doll and not the challenges facing an MBA student...these don't keep the innocence intact, but fuel the flickering fire of youth inside all of us!

For to be young at heart is to live forever and make your own experiences along the way... So what if you will never understand this world of adults, its viciousness, its realism, its inadequacies... you will understand always what it is like to live across ages with eyes open wide with curiosity and wonder! You will know always that the child inside you was never forgotten and "numbers" or "lines" could not defeat you!!! :D

Forget And Forgive!

Of all the good things one learns in life, "forgiveness" is probably the most difficult and most noble. As a child, I never understood the big deal about "forgiveness". Especially when someone used to quote Gandhi, to stress upon its importance, I used to feel the urge to be as unforgiving as I could be!!!

Forgetting, however came easily to me (like it does to most people). You learn so much in school, and you forget the correct answers when there are just 5minutes left to attempt the one word answer type questions (in a 3 hour long exam!)... You learn to drive a bike with a perfect balance and develop a good reflex for brakes and race, but you forget it all when first time on the highway u see a truck coming your way... You learn to love and respect your parents, but you forget it when your plans to go to a friends party are thwarted for being grounded... You learn what it is to be like "you", but you forget it when someone special enough comes along and want to make "we" with "you"...

But forgetting can't be that bad, if everyone does it so often! And so i believe in "forgetting and then forgiving" instead of "forgiving and forgetting". Of course 'Phoebe' does it the best way; she forgets and doesn't forgive (in that episode when she dreamed about Ross beating her in a Chess game and then turning into Cameron Diaz; she forgot it was a dream but remembered that Ross was on her "list")... But that is possible for F.R.I.E.N.D.S, for us lesser mortals, life demands a lot of forgiveness and allows very little forgetfulness.

However unaccommodating you want to be for those who wronged you, you are lead into believing that it will go uphill from there and some "forgiveness" is warranted for. No one expects you to turn the other cheek anymore when slapped on the first one, but no one expects you to turn around and fight back (or okay, hold a grudge even!) People blatantly expect to be forgiven (as "Sorry" has become a 'commodity' and no longer is a 'product'); and what more, they expect you to forget, they ever wronged you!

Detesting the things work around on this planet never solves a purpose, though! The simple formula thus, for self gratification and inner peace is "forget and then forgive". Ever wondered after a week of cold war with a friend, "what the hell was the reason for the fight, to begin with?!?!"...or..."maybe it is time we made up, i hardly recall what we started fighting for, hope she doesn't either!!!!"... That is the scene when 'forgiveness' can come on stage. When all the hurt and anger and disgust is no longer attached to a reason, isn't it easier to forgive?

Recently i watched a movie in which two desolate lovers get each other erased from their memories for the fear of hurting bad. But when they do realize what they had done, they get back together and forgive each other for all the meanness they served each other, everyday with! Therefore, even though "Forgiveness" is the noblest virtue we all learn, "Forgetfulness" is perhaps the greatest armor, nature has bestowed upon us. For to survive the heroic deed of 'forgiving' each time someone stabs you, a great amount of 'forgetting' is essential to protect your vitality!

After all, its not TIME that heals all wounds, its the inadequacies of the human mind that makes living with those wounds easier.